Sometimes

Sometimes, i just feel kind of lost. I feel like everyone around me is going somewhere. Doing something, and always with someone. Sometimes i feel kind of alone. I kind of wish i had someone. You know? I mean i'm not going to just latch on the next boy i meet. I'm not desperate. I just kind of wouldn't mind having someone to sit with on the rocks by the river. To share a warm drink with in a coffee shop. To sit in the car and listen to music with. To dress up and go out with. To snuggle with in the winter. To cook fancy dishes with. Just to be with. I really have a fantastic life, and i enjoy it throughly. But i still think it would be nice to have someone to enjoy it with me. Sometimes i feel like i'm not enough. I feel like i'm not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, not happy enough, not confident enough, not mysterious enough, not original enough, but not normal enough either. Other times i feel like i'm too much... to intense, too emotional, too self-conscious, too self-absorbed, too open with my thoughts and feelings, too much like everything and everyone else in the world. But i want to feel just right, i just want to feel just right for someone, just for once. and everything i've ever seen and felt keeps making me think that it is just too much to ask for being just right. and i really hate that, you know? i really hate being reminded constantly that i'm just not perfect for anyone i've ever met. i want to be someone to remember, a song or a poem that people memorize, a day or a night they never forget, a moment they want to relive, something they wish would never pass, a place they want to visit again and again, an act of kindness, a ray of sunshine, a kiss on your forehead, someone stroking your hair, a gentle touch, a balloon you spot in the air that someone let go, a reoccurring motif, that reminds you God.

♥ dewi